Showing posts with label environmental illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label environmental illness. Show all posts
From the archives...
With Caravan Sonnet turning 11 years old this past year, it is amazing to look back and see all of the things that have taken place during that time. This year, I am re-sharing some of my favorite posts from the 2014 year... it is hard to believe that it is ten years ago. 10 years... a decade...
This post, show up in hope (originally posted in August 2014) has hit me deeply this month... although the circumstances are different- my health is stable and I am healed... I am in a very difficult and private waiting season for several specific areas in life... this post has encouraged me and I pray it will encourage you also today.
Original Post- posted August 4, 2014
Eight and a half years ago I was the recipient of a miracle from the
Lord in the form of healing from what I was told was an incurable disease. After
struggling for years in physical pain and begging the Lord for mercy when the
medical community gave no hope the Lord performed a miracle. Family and friends
cheered joyously as they witnessed their prayers answered. Doctors shook their
heads in amazement when the healing happened muttering, “it must be something
higher that healed you”. People responded with encouragement over my faith and proclaimed the Lord's power. It is a story of joyous victory and of good triumphing
over evil. It is a story that rings with hope in a God who still performs
miracles and of a God who is triumphant over illnesses after “the experts” have
given up hope. It is a story that people love to hear, and one that I have
loved to share over the years. It is a story that makes me well up with tears
at the goodness of the Lord and stand in awe of what He did eight and a half years ago.
But the truth is that I am living a much different story today. I have shared some of it here on the blog but there are many parts that have remained in private. To be truthful the life that
I live now shattered midst ordinary days five years ago when my ex-fiancé
walked out of our relationship a mere five months before we were to be married with no warning. Since then in these past five years my life has crumbled bit by bit by one circumstance to another to finally being diagnosed with Cancer, Advanced Late Stage Lyme disease, an environmental illness and
several other diagnosis'. The combination of the diseases’ listed has
severely affected my life and began one of the most difficult fights of my
life. But while my life shattered my faith in my precious Lord, who is the God of HOPE, has not.
The recovery is long and instead of a planned out future, I am left with
more questions than answers. My aching longings for the future of being married
and being a mom has been placed on hold and instead of my dreams I am left with
questions of life, value, and the God that I so desperately adore. In my little mind it is not the story that shouts the triumph of a
powerful God as I expected the same ending of miraculous healing of eight and a half years
ago. It is not a story that we love to hear, but in this broken world it is a
story that many people live.
We all need to hear the stories of miraculous conquering and
healing to spur us on in hope. These are the stories that scream to us from the
pages of the Bible and the stories that we are quick to reference when bad news
comes to a loved one. But there is a much quieter and powerful story that is
also found deep in the pages of scripture. It is a story of showing up with
hope in the ordinary days lived among the miraculous and victories. It is the
story of living with anticipation that the Lord is still at work when we most
feel He is absent. It is a story that drives us closer to the heart of God as we cry out to Him. I have learned to fall in love with the God who I know does miracles. I have also fallen passionately in love with this same God who has the power to do miracles and sometimes says wait.
"He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow." There are beautiful examples of this in the Bible. One of those is the story of the women who bled for
twelve years from Luke chapter eight. It is a beautiful story of a woman who
must have spent everything that she owned on doctors who had not been able to
help her and yet she still showed up to meet Jesus. With no promise that Jesus
would do anything she pushes her way through the “crowds that almost crushed
Him” and reaches out her hand in desperation and the hope that Jesus could not
only heal but that He would show up.
Friends, if you are struggling through the dark night of
suffering I urge you to hold fast to the story of the woman who was ill and
find hope in the story of the Israelites. Just like that woman, we see in the
book of Exodus that the Israelites held on to the hope that God was still at
work. As they limped out from under the hard yoke of slavery they carried their
tambourines through the long trek of the desert believing that there would
still be a song yet to sing. They didn’t know when the song would come, but
like the woman they pushed through and held onto hope that God would show up.
Despite the fact they had no assurances or promises of what their future would
look like, they walked with their tambourines. They were fully prepared for the celebration that they did not yet have a
time frame for. The celebration that only lay hidden in their hearts as they
walked mile after mile in the desert. The same hope of celebration that the
woman who bled for twelve years was also expecting as she reached out her hand
for Jesus’ cloak.
Dear friends, what about you? Are you ready to show up in Hope? I
have friends who are scattered around the world serving AIDS victims in Africa, fighting for the freedoms of those in the Middle East and some holding crying orphans in the heart of Haiti . Maybe you are like them and
can venture to far off countries to rescue those that the world has abandoned.
Or maybe you can quietly and powerfully write your story by showing up, and
learning like I am to take one day at a time, find beauty in the ordinary, and minister to those that the
world has forgotten. Either way we
can all come to the cross and take His love into our worlds- no matter how big
or small that might seem. Either way we can show up and rejoice that He is going to answer as we step out in
faith and cry out to Him. All we need to do is be ready to rejoice, reach out
for His garments, carry our tambourines, and show up in Hope.
If you are looking to use essential oils you can find my young living shop HERE! Would love to have you along on the journey!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
One of the most frequently asked questions that I have received since going public with my various health issues is whether or not I use essential oils. To be frank I avoided the question for a while because my "beginning" journey with essential oils was very rough. I also avoided the topic because I want to be sensitive to everyone's journey in their fight for their health. To give a little background (and perhaps to encourage those who have experienced similar "well-meaning advice") I wanted to share a little bit about my story and give my perspective on the essential oils debate.
Four years ago (almost to the date) I was driving home from where I was teaching in Georgia to my parents home for a long weekend, talking to one of my best friends when I experienced (on a busy highway) what I thought was a stroke. It was incredibly scary, extremely frightening, and I literally thought I was dying. To be honest, this was one more strange and scary symptom in a list of symptoms that I had begun to experience three years prior to that. (At the time we had no idea that I was fighting Advanced Late Stage Lyme Disease or what my oncologist now believes were the beginning stages of Cancer.) For the next twelve months I lived with worsening and intensifying strange and scary symptoms before being diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. I started to receive treatment for both of those things in the winter of 2012, but my health, continued to worsen.
In the summer of 2012 I had two friends who came to visit me in upstate NY. Both of these ladies had been walking the journey of my health with me for a couple of years at that point and one of them mentioned to me that I should start using oils. She was very enthusiastic with her knowledge and had many stories of those healed by oils and truly believed that there was an oil for every single ailment that I was experiencing (and anyone experienced). I have to admit that I was skeptical. By that point in my journey I had started to have allergic reactions to a variety of different things (including new homeopathic treatments I was trying) and I was very nervous to try anything new. (We had no idea that Lyme had caused me to have Mast Cell Disease at this point in the journey, but my sixth sense of knowing that something was very wrong was well-founded.) This lady shared that she really believed that I needed to "release fear and have faith" and use the oils. She had even brought a couple of them with her for me to use. I was grateful for her consideration and thoughtfulness but was still very skeptical. She again encouraged me to "have faith" and so I tried the oils later that evening. I had a reaction (I developed a rash) but decided to not share this because I didn't want to offend this friend. Honestly, I hoped the subject might be dropped so it wouldn't affect our friendship.
As the months passed and my health worsened and I started going to the hospital for one issue after another my friend continued to encourage me through text messages and Facebook messages to "have faith" and try more oils. Some of the oils that she suggested were a "blend" that included lemon, which I am allergic to. When I shared this, I was once again encouraged to "have faith" and that it would help me. Once, after I had an anaphylactic reaction to rice and had texted my friends asking for prayer because I couldn't stop throwing up in the ER and they couldn't get an IV inserted into a vein, she texted back asking if I "really wanted and believed that I could be healed" and later texted saying, "you should be using oils to be healed".
To be honest, for a long time, I felt that oils were the cause for the disintegration in our friendship. I now realize that is not the case, there were other issues, BUT for a long time I was annoyed and disgusted with oils. And sadly, I hear that this story that I have shared has happened to a lot of other people in a variety of ways. Sometimes, in the midst of the discussion about oils, those who decide not to try and use them (for many legitimate reasons) are "judged" due to this decision. I literally could share hundreds of stories of emails that I have received on this issue.
I also could share hundreds of emails that I have received that have stated that if I would just use "this mixture of oils" I would be healed from Lyme Disease and my other health issues. It seems like in recent months there has been an explosion of oil posts, essential oil facebook groups, essential oil meetings, etc. Honestly, everywhere you look someone is talking about oils.
SO... where do I come down on the debate of essential oils? My personal opinion is that for many people who are "typically" healthy oils can be a safe and natural alternative to taking a bunch of over the counter medicines. Instead of popping a pill, essential oils can provide natural relief that is much better for your body than taking another over the counter medication, but I still encourage everyone to consult with a qualified medical practitioner.
However, on the flip side, I strongly encourage those who are struggling with a chronic illness/serious illness to consult with a physician, a qualified ND, or health practitioner who is familiar with your disease and essential oils. Oils, like herbs or any vitamin or natural supplement, are potent and you want to consult with someone who understands your illness and the oils. Unfortunately (and I think a VERY scary issue) many oil ambassadors (like my well meaning friend I mentioned at the beginning) are not qualified health practitioners and may not understand the complexity of what you are dealing with when handing out oil advice. I can't even begin to count the amount of times I have cringed when reading advice that people are giving when they have absolutely no idea the medical nature of some illness and how oils may affect an individual person. It is very ironic to me because these same people will claim that oils "are very strong, very potent" but don't seem to want to acknowledge the affect that it could have on a seriously ill person.
Do I think that essential oils can help with certain symptoms and issues? Absolutely. Last year, right after I had fired my original Lyme doctor and before we had found my amazing medical team that I am currently with I was having horrible digestive issues. The year before that my entire digestive system had crashed and it looked like I was headed back down that same route. I asked my best friend (who used oils but had always been incredibly respectful of my health issues and hesitancy) for her advice and to see if there was anything that she would suggest. My best friend did a ton of research for me to come up with some suggestions that I discussed her findings with a couple of medical practitioners that were apart of my team. I started at a VERY low dosage, was diagnosed with Mast Cell Disease (and am receiving treatment) and over the ensuing months (and to this day) I have built up to where I use some of these oils every single day and now I have added a couple of new ones into my daily routine. I have personally found that these oils have made a huge difference in helping my symptoms of Lyme Disease. My routine has not been for the faint of heart because it took over two years to get a "normal persons dosage" on these oils. There are still two oils that I am working up to the correct amount of drops! These oils have helped me avoid taking some over the counter medications, which allows my body to have less toxins going in to it. For this I am so incredibly grateful. I can personally testify that I don't have to use as much pain medication, over the counter medications, etc. As you saw in my daily routine I use oils throughout the day. I have carefully spent time with my medical team devising a schedule where oils will be the most effective for me with my health struggles.
BUT... and this is a question that I get all of the time by those who know that I use oils... Do I think that oils alone can cure diseases? No. Please listen before I get a ton of emails angry with my response. If you have been around here for any length of time you know that I love the Lord with all of my heart. I truly believe that HE is the great healer and complete healing comes from Him. I also believe that the Lord uses doctors, medical professionals, and many other qualified practitioners here on earth to help us beat horrible diseases like Cancer and Lyme Disease. Believe me, I wouldn't be spending the $1200 a month on vitamins and herbs if I didn't think that they were helping me win this battle. And I certainly wouldn't be asking my best friend to continue to send me oils if I didn't think that they had a purpose. They do... but in all of the research that I have done on Lyme Disease, I can't find one "long-term" success story (by long-term I mean past five years with no relapse). I have found a LOT of short term success stories but no long-term ones. (For clarification I am only discussing stories of those who ONLY used oils and nothing else!)There have been great success stories with oils helping every day ailments so that people can live a more full life. All of this is wonderful, but I cringe when I hear an oil ambassador stating that "oils will heal you of __________" when they have no expertise in the matter and can't back this claim up with long term data. So, to me, oils alone are not the answer. I do believe that oils have helped with other ailments, but I still caution those to do lots of research on this issue. MANY MANY MANY times as you read oil success stories they are accompanied with a complete life style change (i.e. detoxing, food/diet changes, etc.) and oils are one of many helpful things.
If y'all have been sick or had a friend or loved one with a serious illness then you know that there are often times "hot debates" about how best to treat the illness. Usually it comes down to a three separate groups: (1)- completely all natural, (2) completely all medication/scientific decisions, or (3) an integrative/combined approach. The third group is where I fall in. As you look and read through my blog and read my daily routine you see that I am doing a completely integrative approach and using ALL different things to heal my body and beat this disease. I respect everyone no matter what "group" they fall into on their personal health journey to get well and beat a disease. It is a battle like no other and if you haven't lived it then it is a completely different world. It takes strength you never knew you had and a determination that has to be rock solid. If you know me than you know I often say, "I pray all the time for healing and I fight like crazy to live out those prayers". For me, fighting like crazy is using all available resources and one of those are the oils. For me, the oils allow me to focus NOT on symptoms, but to focus on beating these diseases. If you are a Lymie and are interested in hearing about oils specifically related to Lyme Disease I am going to share my thoughts about that next week!
So there is my humble opinion, about the essential oils debate. *smiles* What about you? What do you think of essential oils? I would love to hear your thoughts on this debate!
If you are looking to use essential oils you can find my young living shop HERE! Would love to have you along on the journey!
{Disclaimer: The information included in "Thursday Health Thoughts" and on this site is for educational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult his or her health care provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation or if they have any questions regarding a medical condition or treatment plan. Reading the information on this website does not create a physician-patient relationship.}
{Disclaimer: The information included in "Thursday Health Thoughts" and on this site is for educational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult his or her health care provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation or if they have any questions regarding a medical condition or treatment plan. Reading the information on this website does not create a physician-patient relationship.}
As I mentioned at the beginning of this year, I never started off in this journey to become a health activist. In fact, as private as I am I probably never would have started blogging had I known that shortly after I did I would have been diagnosed with two major diseases in the span of 5 months. BUT here is where the Lord has me and I do hope to use this blog to share about some of the issues (Lyme Disease especially) that I am passionate about in hopes that it will help and encourage others. As the founder of SEEN Gathering my heart is with encouraging the hearts of people who are struggling with chronic illness. Along that note I am honored to have applied for the WEGO Health Activist Speakers Bureau and hope to share my story with others to encourage them. (Thank goodness for internet access for those of us who are struggling to get out of bed on difficult days! *smiles*) I mention this because I know some of you that read this blog are dealing with health issues and might be
interested in learning more about it as well – it’s a great way for Health
Activists to share our stories, raise awareness and get the word out about the
work we’re doing. Your story DOES matter and what you have to say can change the world for someone. Members of
the WEGO Health Activist Speakers Bureau receive exclusive invitations to
present at conferences, speak to members of the media, and be featured on WEGO
Health. Interested
in joining the WEGO Health Activist Speakers Bureau? Apply today! It only takes a few minutes and
they’ll email you as soon as they have opportunities relevant to you and your
interests.
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."
-Hebrews 13: eight-
What a profound comfort this simple yet prfound verse is to me. No matter what the changes or circumstances around me I can cling to this truth and know without a shadow of a doubt it is true. What beautiful hope there is in this!
As I mentioned in my last Notes from the Porch update there have been several things that have taken place. I am first so overwhelmingly humbled and grateful for two amazingly generous donations to my go fund me page from the Warren's and from Laura. Your generous gifts and thoughtfulness was a miracle answer to prayer and showed me once again that the Lord always provides. THANK YOU so much!!!
In addition to the updates I mentioned last time there have been several changes that have come about and I would covet your prayers as I take things day by day.
(one) As y'all might remember from a couple of months ago I was a little surprised ... ok, blindsided to learn that I was also dealing with an environmental illness on top of the Lyme Disease. I started a medication (and some supplements) specifically for this and the goal was from my last doctors visit (phone call) to the next one (which was on Monday- so approximately 6 weeks) that I would be able to get at 1/2 of a dose of this particular medicine. Well we all know how uncooperative my stomach likes to be (*smiles*) so I want to preface the following statements saying that I am so thankful that I have not had an allergic reaction to this new medicine!! But to be frank a 1/2 dose in this case is two packages (approximately 12 teaspoons) and after 5 weeks I am only able to take 1 teaspoon. Yes, you read that correctly. (I am not going to go into all of the details here but yes, this medicine is the correct medicine, yes, this is common for Lyme Disease patients to struggle with medicines, and yes, I am very disappointed.) My body seems to be able to handle upping the medicine by 1/16 every 3-4 days and this keeps me feeling pretty sick but not to the point where I need to go to the hospital. The original goal was that I would be able to get to a full dose by the end of the summer (24 teaspoons) and this is not going to be feasible at this moment. In addition to this...
(two) I am in the process of "correcting" the MTHFR mutation. For someone who is as seriously ill as I am this is a critical part in the healing process. Without my body being able to detoxify the bad things in my body and without it being able to distinguish between the bad and the good there is obviously lots and lots of toxins in my body. SO during this process of "correcting" the MTHFR I am on a number of supplements and medications to help with this. This puts my body in a detoxifying state which is a great thing but unfortunately as the toxins are released into my body and my body learns how to "properly" release things my fragile little body struggles. I feel pretty poorly due to both of these things and due to that some new summer plans have been made...
(three) At this point I have made the decision not to get Vitamin C IV therapy. I just don't think with all of the things that we are trying to get my body to do it will be able to handle that on top of it. We have decided that I will be making a trip out to California in October to receive two weeks of hard cover hyperbaric oxygen and vitamin c therapy out there. This will coincide with about the same timing that we will be heading home to the south and will be a perfect time for me to get a boost as my goal (now) is to be at the 1/2 dosage point of this medicine.
(four) I will be heading back out to Pacific Frontier Medical to see my doctors in September (I go every six months) and at this point the goal is for me to add in Antibiotic Shots (so the picc line will wait until March) to start killing the Lyme.
(five) a HUGE prayer request is that my entire digestive system will remain stable enough for #'s 3 & 4 to happen. This really is the key to moving forward and I would continue to covet your prayers that all of the supplements, medications, diet, detox baths, oils, ETC. that I do every day will continue to keep my digestive system calm and that the inflammation will go down and of course for healing.
(six) Due to the fact that I will not be needing the Vitamin C IV therapy this summer I have adjusted the go fund me page needs to the lesser amount that I need. Again, I am so thankful for all of your support financially and all of your prayers for me during this journey.
The verse above has brought me such comfort as I rest in the unchanging truth that the Lord never changes despite the plans that seem to constantly change with my health. I am beyond thankful for my doctor who has been such an incredible blessing, the kindness of the entire medical staff at Pacific Frontier Medical, all of your prayers and support, and the thousands of daily blessings that the Lord provides. In my disappointment that this journey of healing is not going "as fast as I would like" I am reminded once again of the greatest blessing. And that is the unchanging truth that the Lord is close to the broken hearted and that He NEVER changes.
These last couple of weeks I have absorbed, wrestled with, encountered, and am at peace with the truth of this quote:
While I may see this setback or delay as a "waste" my life is in God's hands and He is free to "waste" it in anyway He chooses. This is not a depressing thought as I once imagined or one that I thought was "mean" as I cried through it in the last couple of weeks. Instead there is a joy to surrendering in a deeper ways than we could ever have imagined and a peace that comes with the knowledge that I am in the palm of His hands... the palm of a God who has never done anything wrong, loves me completely, and has sacrificed everything for me.
Thank you so much for all of your continued prayers friends. What a blessing you are on this journey!
With lots of love,
Rebecca
I think that I say this every time that I have a "Notes from the Porch" update, but while the days can seem long sometimes (due to pain) in this journey the weeks seem to fly by. How in the world has it been two weeks since my last update? *smiles*
I want to thank each of you again for all of your continued prayers in this long journey. A verse that has become such a "mantra" for me these past couple of months (and especially the last couple of weeks) has been from psalm 126:5.
I wanted to take a few moments today to just give a few updates and continue to ask for some specific prayers.
(one) My "gut" continues to be the source of incredible pain and discomfort due to the Lyme Disease, environmental illness, leaky gut, and inflammation after so many years and issues. EVERYTHING seems to "aggravate" it and these past two weeks have been incredibly painful (more similar to last year). As I continue to follow a very strict regime of supplements, medications, essential oils, detox baths, herbs, etc. I would covet your prayers that this pain would cease. It is extremely exhausting, is the source of countless tears, and in addition is very preventative in moving forward as quickly as we would like. PLEASE join us in praying for relief. Thank you!
(two) I continue to ask for prayer for finances that I am still needing for the summer costs. I am so appreciative of the donations that have come in these past two weeks and can't begin to express my thanks. I am so humbled as I know that many of you have given again, again, and again in so many different ways. Thank you so much and thank you for your kindness in this journey. If you would like to donate you can click here:
(three) If we are connected on instagram then you know that this is the week of transition for me. This week has been spent with finalized doctors appointments, packing, finishing Etsy orders, last minute bloodwork, more doctors appointments, and finishing the last oxygen treatments. It has also been a time of saying goodbye and thanking those that have been such an incredible help throughout the last eight months. I wanted to do something "tangible" for several people and went about making a thank you gifts for some and purchasing several succulents (and covering them with wonderful twine!). (I was so grateful for a sweet friend who sent me a gift card to Krogers when she heard what I wanted to do so that I could purchase the succulents! Thank you so much "K"!!) I loved working on "sprucing" them up with twine!
(four) My family and I will leave for upstate New York on Sunday and we would covet prayers for safety as we travel and for health for my fragile body. The two-day (twenty some hour) car trip can be especially difficult on me and with the stomach pain that I have been having I am a little apprehensive about the trip. As I shared my mom is retiring to help me and so we will be in upstate New York for approximately four months and this will allow me to receive a variety of different treatments.
(five) I am starting (again for a second try) the environmental illness medicine that the doctor has me on today. As always, we covet prayer for this to work and for me to have no serious side affects.
Thank you so much for ALL of your prayers, support, and love during this journey. I was re-reading recently two stories from scripture of people who were ill coming to Jesus. In one, it was a woman who had bled for many years and scripture says that she spent all of her money getting well and no one could help her. In the other it was a man who was seriously ill and his friends lowered him through the roof to Jesus. For a long time in this journey I have felt that I could relate to the woman more than the man. The desperate cries for help, the tears that I have cried alone begging the Lord for healing and a reduction of pain, and the feeling and knowledge that I only need one little touch by the greatest Healer to get well are all emotions that I imagine the woman in the Bible felt as she desperately pushed through the crowds. But over the last year and months, weeks and days I have been struck by another beautiful picture. While physically I am not being lowered through the roof, I am constantly being brought to Jesus by your prayers and love. I can't tell you how many times I text so many of you asking for immediate prayer and you always graciously and lovingly respond. I can't tell you how many times I have opened up my email, my facebook messages, listened to my voice mails, opened mail, etc. to find beautiful words filled with love and prayers reminding me that so many people are constantly bringing me before Jesus. Thank you so much dear friends. This journey has been WAY longer than I ever would have imagined or desired and your love in "lowering" me through the roof to Jesus is the greatest blessing.
Thank you!
Happy Friday y'all! I wanted to share some general updates with y'all from the past couple of weeks!
(one) As y'all know from my notes from the porch post on Tuesday I have been struggling for the last couple of weeks with a variety of different things and feeling pretty awful. Unfortunately on top of this I have developed an allergic reaction to two of my "everyday" meds for my stomach. Due to this I made an appointment with my gastrointestinal specialist but sadly after this appointment we have decided to "go in different directions". Unfortunately at this time my case appears to be a little to complicated for him. I cried after the appointment as I appreciate everything that he has attempted to do but it was becoming obvious (in my last few appointments) that my case goes beyond the typical digestive issues and he can not handle that. It is sometimes hard to accept when a doctor doesn't have the answers but I am so grateful for a God who is the ultimate healer. As I continued to pray about this whole upsetting situation throughout the day yesterday I was reminded that the Lord sometimes closes a door to open a new one. Please pray as we search for a new specialist, try to figure out with my Lyme doctor the best medicine to try from here, and for relief from these very painful symptoms that I am struggling with. Ultimately we continue to pray with all of y'all for complete healing! Thank you!
(two) It is hard to believe that the summer months are almost upon us here! I have been SLOWLY begun the process of packing for New York. My heart loves this time of year and I am incredibly excited about my time at camp. An exciting announcement (that is an answer to prayer!) is that I have found a clinic in Vermont (approximately an hour away) where I will be receiving Vitamin C treatments!! THANK YOU for praying for this friends! As y'all know this treatment was incredibly beneficial to my health last May when I received it and I am rejoicing with this news! I will be taking these months off of soft covered hyberbaric oxygen and will be replacing it with new medications & supplements, therapeutic reflexology, vitamin c treatments, and acupuncture for these months. It is always a good thing with Lyme Disease to "change up" some things so this is a wonderful opportunity to do this. (I will return to the oxygen when I return to the south in the fall.)
I always am blown away by your incredible generosity to me in this journey. I hesitated to post yet another "go fund me" page but so many of you have stated that you appreciate the opportunity to know how to be praying financially and to have an opportunity to donate financially if you are able. I have shared before that this is a very difficult part of this journey but after praying about it I have decided to continue this. This might change in the future but for now I humbly accept y'alls request. On my new page (which can be found on the right hand side here on my blog or can be found by clicking HERE) you can see that I have broken down the needs for the upcoming months. The page is giving an estimated amount that is still needed for medical bills and medical costs & treatment for the summer months (June- September). If you are curious here is the breakdown of what I am anticipating that I will still need after money that I prayerfully earn through free lance writing, Parcel Post Tribe, custom orders, and The Paper Sonnet Etsy Shop.
$100- Therapeutic Reflexology for 4 months (not covered by insurance)
$200- Supplements for 4 months (this is only a small percentage of what is purchased each month, yet a very necessary link in the healing process)
$300- Vitamin C treatments for 4 months. This is the remaining amount after insurance pays a percentage)
$300- Doctors appointments, labs & blood work, and gas & ferry expenses for 4 months (after insurance covers their part)
$600- Acupuncture for 4 months (not covered by insurance)
Total Cost: $ 1500.00**
**This does not include costs that are already supplied. Listed above is the needs beyond what resources Rebecca has available at this specific time. This also does not include other expenses which are daily needs. Any extra amount this is raised will be set aside for Rebecca's doctors appointment and cost of travel in California in October**
Thank you again for all of your support and prayers!
$300- Vitamin C treatments for 4 months. This is the remaining amount after insurance pays a percentage)
$300- Doctors appointments, labs & blood work, and gas & ferry expenses for 4 months (after insurance covers their part)
$600- Acupuncture for 4 months (not covered by insurance)
Total Cost: $ 1500.00**
**This does not include costs that are already supplied. Listed above is the needs beyond what resources Rebecca has available at this specific time. This also does not include other expenses which are daily needs. Any extra amount this is raised will be set aside for Rebecca's doctors appointment and cost of travel in California in October**
Thank you again for all of your support and prayers!
*thoughtful sigh* It's hard to believe that it has only been two weeks since my last Notes from the Porch update. In many ways it seems like it has been a decade and other ways it seems like it has been only a few short hours. I can't even begin to express my humble and grateful heart for your kind prayers, thoughtful messages & cards, sweet facebook messages, texts, & phone calls (which I am still working on returning). To my incredible precious parents, sweet Ba, & amazing sister... thank you so much for letting me "be me" and work through all of the implications that the latest diagnosis has brought me. You have shown incredible kindness, compassion, and love as you navigated my changing emotions and loved me incredibly well. Jen, Michelle, Monica, & Katie- thank you so much for letting me cry again and again on your shoulders. You have lived the love of Christ- with absolutely no gain to yourselves, and I stand amazed at how you love me and never make me feel like a burden but cry along with me. Thank you. And to so many of you who have been praying and sending me encouraging notes I could never explain how grateful I am.
To be honest these last few weeks have been incredibly difficult. The news of this new diagnosis completely threw me and I struggled with grief, anger, denial and every other emotion you could think of. I cried more than I have in my entire life, I threw several temper tantrums (which I am embarrassed to admit), struggled with jealousy and couldn't stop thinking about how this was "completely unfair". I couldn't explain to anyone why this news hit me harder than being diagnosed with cancer last year. Maybe I was more naive last year? Maybe it was being another year "wiser" of what certain diagnosis' mean in regards to testing, blood work, treatment, and ramifications? Maybe it was knowing that I am tired. Maybe it was... I could list a thousand things but at the end of the day the truth of the matter is that I was honestly brokenhearted. And after nearly two weeks of crying everyday I can testify to the verse that states:
The reality is that this latest diagnosis does come with a ton of ramifications. It means that I can't proceed with an intense battle with Lyme Disease until this latest illness is dealt with. (I will be still fighting Lyme throughout this but it won't be the "sole focus".) This means that my "nice little plan" for healing in the next year is more likely going to look like at least two more years. TWO. MORE. YEARS.
It also means a ton of changes that are going to need to occur (many that I will be sharing in the next several months). It means that treatment is going to become more intense and after this is dealt with I will still need tons of energy for the Lyme fight. It means a delay in a lot of dreams that are known and many that lay in the secret places of my little heart. It means more doctors visits, more blood work, more tests, more treatment, more... all things sick world related. It means having to delay returning to teaching, a delay in completing my PhD, a delay in things that I love to do (ballroom dancing, etc.) and an acceptance of a lot of days with pain and nausea. It means navigating a very tricky road of not only Lyme and Cancer, but of this environmental illness also. It means accepting that my poor gastrointerologist felt overwhelmed with the fact that he was not an expert with Cancer or Lyme Disease but has tried his hardest to find ways to help my poor digestive system and my pain and looks absolutely stunned at the latest news and is absolutely silent when I ask what we should do next. It means accepting that he, and many of my other doctors (non specialists), have no idea how to proceed. It means accepting that stress upsets the foundation of my fragile body and that due to all of the tears that I cried I have been in incredible pain for the last week and feel horrible. It means accepting that the temporary handicap tag that I just picked up three weeks ago will now be turning into a permanent one since I don't have the energy to walk long distances. It means filling out social security disability paperwork through tears, going through the application process in denial, and crying and begging the Lord for the application to be accepted to help with financial needs.
And the list goes on and on and on.
I have mentioned before that I was asked last year by a girl (that I used to be close friends with) if "I really believed that I would be healed". At the time it was incredibly hurtful and painful as the question seemed to imply that it was my lack of faith that was keeping me from being healed. In later conversations she continued to ask similar questions and I have heard this same type of questioning occurs to lots of people who have long battles with illnesses. At the time I was incredibly hurt and had to work through truly forgiving this friend who abandoned me at a time when I really needed love and support. But throughout these last two weeks I have realized the absolute error in this type of questioning. These questions put the emphasis on what I am doing (or not doing). This question makes the assumption that it is me and not God's power that healing and answered prayers come from. This implies that those who are sick and not getting better have a "lack of faith". And while I will do everything in my power to be a good steward of this body that the Lord has given me it is not about me. It is about God and HIS perfect timing.
My minutes, my days, my hours are in HIS hands. HE can decide how this little body can best serve Him. HE is the one who holds me in the palm of His Hands.
I am learning once again that the Lord truly does save those who are crushed in spirit. He takes our tears and tenderly loves us. Sometimes He does so "instantly" and other times it is slow & steady. Sometimes we don't see the "miraculous" event here on earth. Instead, like those who have gone before us (Hebrews 11) the rewards come much much later... where the miraculous events that the Lord has done here on earth (in His perfect timing) will intersect with the knowledge gained of the millions & millions of events rewarded in Heaven.
Recently I was re-reading the story of Abraham and Isaac and came upon a verse that I have read countless times as a child. The verse from Genesis 22 talks about God being the "Jehovah-Jireh" - the provider. Over these past years and months I have testified to this and seen how well the Lord truly does provide for each of our daily needs but as I happened to be reading the Genesis chapter in a new version I was caught by the wording. This particular version said, "Jehovah-Jireh- the Lord will see to it". Obviously this is still the same meaning as "the provider", but this particular wording truly stood out to me. The Lord will see to it.... The Lord will see to all of the things that I have stated above are my concerns and will see to it. The Lord will see to it all.
Thank you so much sweet friends for your continued prayers and support. I appreciate specific prayers for my stomach which is in incredible pain, for healing, and for wisdom and strength for each day. May you know the intimate truth of the Lord caring and providing for each need and concern that you have today. May you be comforted by His gentle love and in the midst of worry and concern may you know the truth that the Lord will see to it ...all of it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
